Jamie had a magic torch. Des in Neighbours had magic mushrooms, but this hero, he’s got a magic beard. This beard gets him to the front at Snoop Doggy Dogg shows. This beard makes ladies want to touch him. This beard makes people from zone 6 want to photograph him. Like a celebrity. Fools be like getting a photo with the beard to use as their facebook profile pic. People be staring at this magic beard like it’s little baby Harvey. This beard is straight up sexual napalm.
If you snip off a bit of his beard hair and roll it up into a beard joint and smoke that shit, you’ll think you’re riding round on a unicorn with Mariah Carey being chased by flying puppies. Sprinkle a bit of that beard in a girls drink, and she’ll love you forever. Even if you’re a bit weird and have a questionable relationship with your cat.
There is one situation however, were the beard is not magical. That’s when you try to crowd surf at 4 in the afternoon. Crowd surfing cancels out the beards power and you WILL be dropped on the floor and you WILL loose your iphone.
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