U N D E R R A T E D T H I N G S

ONION RINGS

If you’re not a child or don’t star in Happy Days, it’s probably been a while since you had some onions rings. Well get back involved homes, onion rings are great. Much better than boring old chips.

RIHANNA

Rated R and Good Girl Gone Bad are probably the two greatest albums ever recorded. That’s right, the two greatest records ever. Stupid In Love is heartbreaking, Rehab – I live my life by that song, the production on Cold Case Love ZUT ALORS!

And people say she dresses like a dick head. Well she does not. She’s my inspiration.

BOOKS

In this so called digital age we live in, with all like Ceefax and iphone 4’s, we sometimes forget about reading an actual. Book. Lying in bed, reading a BOOK, you feel like Stephen Hawkins. You feel like Carole Vordeman. You feel like one of those kids with a B Tec.

TEA IN A TEA POT

In these trying economic times, you don’t always have to drop big dollar to feel like a champion. A glamorous, sophisticated champion. Just make a POT of tea, rather than dropping a teabag in a mug. Drink that tea out of an actual tea cup. Like Elton John would.

GOING FOR A WALK

I hate nature. You wont find me in the sea, or like in one of those parks, but I do like going for a walk. IN THE CITY. WHERE I LIVE. You see amazing stuff. Like a really good looking tramp. Or a Japanese fashion student wearing full fencing gear and a small child’s hat.

HAVING A BATH

These days, when we’re all running round at 100 miles an hour (that’s 161 kilometres per hour you EU dictators), it’s showers all the way. But don’t forget about yo’ bath. Put bubbles in it. Burn a candle. Have a brew, god damn it have a glass of cava. Maybe put some Michael Buble on. That it a proper treat.